The Ultimate Guide for Parents of Tots To Teens and in*B*tweens
{Warning this video has curse words}
This is a video response of an angry father.. who has just read a Facebook post his daughter privately posted to her friends. The father chooses to express his anger in a very unconventional way. Do you think this tactic is okay? Does this just breed more negativity or did the daughter deserve to have her laptop shot?
Please share your thoughts– how would you handle this situation?
Sadly, YouTube has become a bully’s playground to post videos of their heinous acts on their unexpected victims. This past Sunday a teenage boy was beaten by his attackers, all while the 15 year-old girl who led him to his attackers filmed. The teens beat the young man while taunting him and using racial slurs as well as taking his wallet and shoes. This crime has not been ruled a hate crime… nonetheless the crime is disgusting and is a growing trend.
If you search YouTube you can find a slew of fights or “beat downs”. This generation has grown-up posting their every move online, and now criminal acts are fair game? Why these teens think it is okay to torment another human being is beyond me, but then to post it online is just morbid. Is this for props or 15 minutes of online fame?
The attackers have all been charged for their crimes with one 17 year-old being tried as an adult.
The beating of the 17-year-old boy touched one Californian artist David Choe who painted a mural in honor of the young man. Choe wrote via his Facebook: My tribute to all the f.o.b.ly dressed oriental kids who never take off their heavy backpacks even when they’re getting their faces kicked in.
Please share your thoughts.
In this day and age, teenagers are judged by their materialistic possessions. The more you have, the cooler you are. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that this type of mentality encourages teens to spend more and more. They need to keep up with their classmates and that usually means getting the latest iPod or buying designer jeans.
Teenagers from middle class to upper class families usually have disposable income that more often than not comes from an allowance or a gift. Because this money didn’t come to them through hard work, it is less valuable therefore they are more likely to spend than save that money.
Teenagers are naturally impulsive buyers. Developmentally, teens are insecure and searching for things that matter, which they find in materialistic possessions. They’re in between a child and an adult and when it comes to stuff, they often revert back to the childlike “I want it now” impulse. For the most part, they believe that money should be spent today and not tomorrow. And when they have a disposable income, it just makes it that much easier to spend money.
In a recent study on teen consumerism by Allen Kanner, teens are spending two and a half times what they were in 1992. They have an annual overall budget of $15 billion and they influence over $600 billion of spending which is why companies target their products to teenagers the most. It is the most effective way to get a product into the market. After all, when one teenager buys a product, it is sure that others will soon follow.
This theory is called “brand bullying.” Its when a teenager feels pressured by his or her peers to buy a particular product because “everybody has one.” To them, its embarrassing to be the only one in the entire class who doesn’t own an iPod. This type of peer pressure is very common amongst teens. They’re pressured by their friends to buy the right brands from the right stores.
Brand bullying is especially evident in teenage girls who often judge each other by who has the cutest clothes and other materialistic possessions. The girl who buys the right clothes, authentic Uggs, and a Prada bag is going to be the one that other girls flock to. When you are a teenage girl, its very hard to wear clothes from the thrift store for fear of judgment by other girls. Companies target teenage girls, putting pressure on image –that if you don’t look a certain way, you’re not pretty. Teenage girls spend over $9 billion on skin and makeup products alone. But brand bullying frequently robs a teenager of self-determination, self-esteem, and self-awareness.
Moreover, this trend is beginning to seep into the younger generation. Eight years olds are now judged by who has a DSI, a PS3, and an X-Box 360. The more technology and videogames you have, the cooler you are.
There is no way to judge if consumerism in teens would ever decrease in the next few years but teenagers don’t like it when people tell them how to spend their money, just like everyone else. They keep buying and buying, without reflecting. If they don’t start to spend wisely when they get older, they are going to have a hard time coping with bills.
By Baaria Chaudhary
When you’re a teen, it’s easy to find a scapegoat for your problems. You come home with your parents standing in the foyer and you know what’s coming next: the lecture, the grounding, and then even more lecturing. You stand there, bored out of your wits, pretending to listen to your parents’ yacking and when they stop to take a breath, you finally open your mouth and blame your behavior on peer pressure. The official definition of peer pressure in the dictionary is “social pressure by members of one’s peer group to take a certain action, adopt certain values, or otherwise conform in order to be accepted.” The definition of peer pressure in the unofficial high school guide, however, is simple: “Everybody who’s anybody is doing it.” Peer pressure is a term most teens have known since they were in diapers.
Everywhere teens look, there is an adult telling them about the wrongs of peer pressure and the dangers it presents to modern society. It seems like all the problems of today are all because of peer pressure. In truth, however, this is incorrect. Peer pressure didn’t just appear in the last few decades. It’s been around since the beginning of time, right when Satan, disguised as a serpent, tempted Eve to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge even though God told her specifically she was not allowed to eat from that tree. In the book, Animal Farm by George Orwell, the animals are pressured into agreeing with the pigs to overthrow the humans.
Perhaps the reason why peer pressure is mentioned so much in today’s society is because of the increased amount of it. Never before have people been so exposed to peer pressure as they are nowadays. Who’s the culprit? Most people would probably blame it on the explosion of technology and resources at our hands. The TV shows and the movies, especially. Most teens often get pressured by the over dramatized shows.
They feel that they are too fat for the norm or that their life should be like a movie, full of adventure and always with a happy ending. This naïve behavior often leads to disappointment. Computers could also be blamed for the increased level of peer pressure. People are now allowed to connect with anyone in the world. Your status in the high school social ladder depends on the number of Facebook friends you have.
Not to mention the amount of advertising many large corporations put out on TV and on the Internet. The slogans and the messages that they send out aren’t always good. Take Nike for example. Their slogan is ‘Just do it.’ How many times do you think that people have used that slogan to prep them to do something? Peer pressure is now available in mass quantities, all around the world. But the peer pressure you see on TV or in ads is nothing compared to the daily dose of local peer pressure.
‘Up close and personal’ peer pressure is probably the most common –and the most dangerous form of peer pressure. Often, it comes from people who are most close to the teen, such as a friend. This peer pressure is impulsive, unpredictable, and with the most consequences. ‘Up close and personal’ peer pressure is when a person is pressured into doing something, often without thinking it out. For example, a teen is out with his friends when they see a group of kids hanging outside a convenience store that go to their school. The friends persuade the teen to come along with them while they say hello to the group of kids who happen to be the most popular kids in school. When they arrive, one of the kids offers the teen a marijuana joint. The teen looks at the joint and then at the kid. He’s read everything there is about marijuana and its affects. He knows what it does to your body but his “I want in” attitude makes him take the joint. This is an example of an ‘Up close and personal’ peer pressure where split decisions and quick, rushed thinking lead the way.
Peer pressure is known to hurt people.
Teens are constantly warned by the dangers that peer pressure presents and the consequences. Peer pressure is one of the known causes for teen alcohol and drug abuse, anorexia, and suicide. It’s something that should be stopped, before another kid dies.
As your child enters the next phase of his or her life, AKA…High School, it is best to get them prepared for things to come…College. It’s hard to think of college when they are just starting their high school career, but if you are not prepared, four years can come and go and leave you in a scramble trying to boost test scores and letter grades!
GPASaver.com allows your child to add and track all their grades and test scores in one convenient spot. High schools are struggling and even though each school has their own grade tracking system, only 3 out of 7 teachers actually update them in a timely manner, leaving parent and child wondering what grades will be given at the end each semester.
It is targeted towards high school students but if your child is 13 or older, you may even be able to begin tracking as early as 8th grade. Teach your child as early as you can so that they are actively working on keeping track of their grades while leaving nothing to guess work. It will teach them responsibility, what it takes to work towards a goal, and how to be an organized student which can only be beneficial as they graduate and move on to their college careers. When the time comes, you can look back on your child’s high school career and have a better idea of where their struggling or where they excel. You can never be too prepared for what the future may bring! Log on to GPASaver.com and see for yourself. It is quite easy to use!
As children start entering their teen years, their bodies go through a variety of changes, thanks to hormones and added stresses that come into play. These hormones can cause changes in hair texture. Philip Kingsley Trichologist, Elizabeth Cunnane Phillips offers advice to teens about hair care during these challenging years. By following Elizabeth’s “Teen Hair 101”, adolescents can achieve healthy and beautiful hair.
Elizabeth Cunnane Phillips Teen Hair 101
Puberty Scalp Changes
At puberty, the sebaceous glands enlarge, resulting in an increased production of sebum, the oily substance that lubricates every hair as it emerges from the scalp
An excess of this can lead to greasy hair, which sometimes can have an unpleasant odor. The solution is frequent washing, which encourages the scalp to lessen the amount of grease produced.
Dandruff
Certain yeasts can cause dandruff; medicated shampoo should be used to reduce the population of these yeasts on the scalp. Stress can also increase dandruff; daily washing is the best to optimize the health of the hair and scalp.
Diet
Diet has an important influence on the hair, so teenagers should eat a balanced diet, with an emphasis on freshly prepared foods. A good intake of protein is important for the body to be able to produce strong hair. Hairs are made of a type of protein called Keratin. It is particularly important once girls start menstruating that they have a good intake of iron rich foods, as maintaining adequate iron is vital for optimum hair growth.
Hair Processing
Hair straightening and curling irons have become extremely popular with young girls, but they can be quite damaging to the hair. Protective serums may protect the hair, but it is best not to use the hair straightener or curling iron every day.
Hair Coloring
It is always best to have hair colored professionally in a salon, rather than attempting to color the hair at home. After care is important to counteract the dying effect that all color products ha on the hair. Regular use of an intensive hair conditioning treatment will help to maintain the moisture and hydrate the dry hair.
Justin Bieber has graced the walls and t-shirts of girls everywhere, but now he is about to grace the cover of Star Magazine. Sadly, the focus will not be on his new Christmas album, which released yesterday but on a paternity lawsuit. Mariah Yeater claims Justin is the father of her three month old baby– 20 year old Mariah says the two had unprotected sex after a concert at the Staples Center last year.
Justin Bieber and his camp deny any allegations of the paternity of Mariah Yeater’s baby.
Justin Bieber took to twitter saying:
Last night Justin apperared on Dancing With Stars alongside Boys II Men, singing one of the songs off his new album. It seems as though Bieber is trying to keep focused on his music.
By Baaria Chaudhary
My generation is the first generation to grow up with Facebook. To us, innovations like the iPad or the Kindle are nothing new. In our minds, it’s just another way to access technology. Maybe that is the problem. New technology is being invented so quickly these days that we barely have time to catch up before the Next Big Thing. My generation is the experiment to see how technology such as social media is going to impact the future. There are no set restrictions yet, no guidelines on how we should proceed with all this new technology. This can be exceptionally dangerous, especially when it comes to social networking sites like Facebook. Since we aren’t given a set rule of guidelines on how to act on Facebook, we automatically assume that there aren’t any. But this isn’t necessarily true.
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I have to admit I got annoyed when my parents told me to be careful on Facebook. What’s the harm? I’d ask myself but even as I would say it, I would recall incidents in school of Facebook related drama. The problem with Facebook is that it is so much easier to say things to people on Facebook than to say them face to face. We all fall victim to this. Soon, little things will lead to big things, which will lead to even bigger things, and the next thing we know, we’ve invented an entire alter ego for ourselves on Facebook –one that isn’t necessarily grounded in reality. This creates a major problem on Facebook. We can never really tell if a person on Facebook is actually who they say they are. Not knowing whom you are really talking to yet trusting them anyways can lead to problems that can leak into real life. There are so many reported incidents of people being harassed in real life because of Facebook. One such example can be found in Seventeen Magazine’s [Delete] Digital Drama Campaign. The magazine recently teamed up with ABC to raise awareness for cyberbullying. In one of their spreads, they showed how “friending” a teacher on Facebook could lead to unwanted consequences. This is just one thing that you have to be careful about when going on Facebook. Don’t just accept friend requests just because you know the person or you go to school with them. You should keep your school, work, and social life separate from one another on Facebook, too. If you add someone who isn’t necessarily in your family or social circle, you are beginning to blur the boundary lines.
Not only should you be aware of inconsistency on Facebook, but you should also remember the phrase “think before you speak.” Just because there isn’t any cyberbullying going on towards you doesn’t mean you should be the one to start it. Remember, most schools do have anti-bullying policies that encompass bullying on Facebook. Not everything you say on Facebook will be interpreted the way you want it to. Unless you are able to explain to your closest friends what you actually meant, it is probably a good idea to play it safe. Keep in mind; the easiest way to avoid problems online is to simply click ‘delete.’ There is a false sense of security and confidence that overcomes people while online and because of this anonymity, people believe it’s okay to say hurtful things. I hate drama as much as anyone else and when it comes to Facebook, I have a rule: if its something you wouldn’t say in real life, don’t say it. Words can hurt a lot more than you realize and social media has just made it easier. {Source}
Everyone can see what you write on Facebook so be careful of what you write on your friend’s walls and what you message them. Don’t write things on your friends’ walls that you wouldn’t necessarily talk about in public –such as a birthday party that your other friend wasn’t invited to. Seeing your post about how awesome the party was where this friend can see it can cause feeling of regret. Take Tyler Clementi’s suicide for example. If those boys hadn’t posted that video online where everyone can see it, he probably wouldn’t have killed himself. Again, think before you speak.
I’ve always logged off of Facebook whenever I was getting fed up with all the digital drama. Don’t get me wrong: Facebook and other social networking sites can be greattools but when faced with notifications to check, statuses to update, pictures to post, and things to ‘like’ Facebook can easily end up adding to your stress instead of a way to deplete it. Every notification I received in my inbox became an added fifteen minutes to Facebook time and in the end, I just got sick of reading all the pointless comments or stupid updates. The best way to relieve you from social overload is to log off, something many teens forget to do.
After almost a year on Facebook, I finally deactivated my account. I’ve now been Facebook-free for almost two months. What I’ve learned from Facebook is that while it can be helpful, most people don’t usually use it in that way. We might say we use Facebook to get coupons from our favorite store or to get in contact with family overseas, but this isn’t what we do on Facebook on a daily basis. If you think you can handle Facebook without going overboard, go for it but if you’re someone like me who loves wasting time doing nothing and piling up homework, it might be better to set some guidelines for yourself before you log on. Facebook isn’t going to tell you what you can and can’t do. It’s up to you, the user, to define the happy medium.
My name is Baaria Chaudhary. I am sixteen years old, a junior in high school, and a headscarf-wearing Muslim. Writing is my passion and has been since I was eight years old, one of the reasons why I joined the Tots to Teens Writing Program. I love all kinds of writing from short stories and novels to English essays and articles for my school newspaper. Writing is a way to express my opinions, my dreams, and myself, which is why I love it. In a way, writing is my drug, not marijuana. Other than my obsession with writing, I volunteered for this teen writers program in order to find out what its like to work for a real magazine. My dream job is being a journalist (Obviously, it involves a lot of writing!) and I believe that this is a way for me to understand what goes on behind the magazine. I hope this experience is enlightening as well as entertaining. I can’t wait to get started.
This month is suicide prevention month, and although it is a tough topic it is one we should all talk about. On September 11th I was going through my Twitter thread and there I saw Cristi Comes a.k.a @MotherUnadorned tweet about being a #BlueBlogger. She had dyed all of her hair blue, because she met her goal and raised money for suicide prevention. I wanted to help; I wanted to be a part of bringing more attention to suicide prevention. I tweeted her back to let her know I was on board. This past Monday I too added blue to my hair. But dying my hair blue was not enough I needed to share with you ways you too could help.
The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention takes donations to assist with founding programs and research for suicide prevention.
Network for Good gives you many organizations that accept donations for suicide prevention as well as where to volunteer.
Next I want to share why it has taken me a while to post this article. I wanted to let you know how this topic has touched my life in a way I thought it never would. How the pain affects so many after one person’s decision.
That Sunday when I agreed to become a Blue Blogger to spread awareness, I didn’t think I would have to feel the pain of a suicide attempt days later. September 16th, I got the call from my best friend that her foster brother had tried to take his life, and he was in ICU. Needless to say this past week has been tough; we were all waiting for Robert to pull through. I had never meet Robert, but here I was so closely intertwined. I spoke to 13 year-old Robert over the phone miles away pleading for him to open his eyes and come back to us. I just knew he had to pull through; he had already defied so many odds.
My past week went from painful to a whole new level of pain. September 22nd we lost Robert, and I cannot describe how painful it was to hear. This young man who had so much to live for, lost his life by his own hands. Why did he decide this was the way? It pains me to even share that we lost a child last week–A CHILD.
The hurt that suicide puts on the hearts of many daily is never truly factored in. I had to feel that pain and I wish I had not. My best friend’s family are enduring the pain of having to burry a child and cope with his loss—I wish they were not. They have to walk in the door daily and know he is no longer there, they will never see his smile, hear his laugh, and hug him close again. That pain is unimaginable to many, but sadly this is the pain families all over the world deal with daily. A person dies by suicide every 16 minutes in the United States, claiming over 33,000 lives each year (AFSP). I have been told Robert was a sweet young man; he built a birdhouse and watched birds come to his birdhouse. He made a dollhouse bed for another child in the home. Robert will be missed and he will always be loved. Rest in Peace Robert we all love you.
Thank you to all our Winter 2011 Sponsors!
You can see them as well on the inside back cover of
the 2011 Winter Tots To Teens Magazine.
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