The Ultimate Guide for Parents of Tots To Teens and in*B*tweens
{Warning this video has curse words}
This is a video response of an angry father.. who has just read a Facebook post his daughter privately posted to her friends. The father chooses to express his anger in a very unconventional way. Do you think this tactic is okay? Does this just breed more negativity or did the daughter deserve to have her laptop shot?
Please share your thoughts– how would you handle this situation?
With every photo I see and every story I hear about Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s personality, I see so many “likenesses” that I would never have imagined I’d have with Angelina Jolie (as a parent). Now lets clarify. When Shiloh was a baby, Angie dressed her up in cute little dresses and patent leather shoes. (Google her and you’ll see for yourself if you don’t remember.) I’m guessing, it wasn’t until Shiloh started to develop her own personality, her own sense of style, her own views and opinions, likenesses and dislikes that she started not wanting to wear the frilly dresses that girls are stereotyped to wear. I totally get that. When my daughter was a baby, I dressed her up in cute dresses with matching hair accessories, ruffle socks and cute little flowered baby shoes. It wasn’t until she discovered her love for the baseball hat that I started seeing my little girl slowly turning into a Tomboy. From the baseball hat we went to the boys Hanes white t-shirt that she still continues to wear on a daily basis! I struggled a lot with giving up my vision of what she would be and learned to accept that she is who she is and no matter what, I cannot change her, nor would I want to. There are so many people who are afraid to just let their kids “be” and stick up for who your child is becoming, an individual! When did that become such a bad thing? For this I completely respect and admire Angie for. She is letting Shiloh be who she is…Shiloh, and she is not trying to conform her to what Hollywood or ‘society’ expects her to be like. I LOVE that!
Here is a bit of my story and as a parent, ask yourself, where are children hearing these and many other comments? It is true that they hear and see everything…more than we care to admit, so again, I say, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I shared this a while back on Facebook but I feel it is necessary now to share it here since this is where I will be sharing most of my ‘child’ and ‘mom’ related real life stories. I hope you can see that just because a girl likes baseball hats, short hair, wearing all black or white Hanes boys t-shirts (cause girls ones are cut too small and are rather uncomfortable if you ask me), or wanting to wear her big brothers baseball and football shirts and his jeans (cause they are looser -which they are…look at the legs!), playing with Nerf guns (that aren’t pink and sparkly thank goodness!) and Lego sets (that do not scream I am a girl…which is a whole different topic) that each one is still a unique child and no matter what their outsides look like, they still require love, attention and affection, and that is what we as parents and as a society need to remember. If you accept them for who they are (not what they look like), you will soon see that your child is strong, confident and will not let anything or anyone stand in their way of happiness from here on out.
I was a bit ticked off the other day…now most of you know Gianna, she’s a bit of a tomboy…NOTHING wrong with that! However, I was just informed by her over the weekend that her “friends” call her “He/She”…I honestly was taken back by that nonchalant statement. I asked her who was calling her that to which she provided names of the girls. I asked her why they did that, she didn’t know…I told her that the next time they say that to her, stand up tall, and tell them, I am a girl and just because I don’t wear dresses, doesn’t mean I am any less a girl that you. (not sure what would actually come out but I could have said a few not so nice words…) I mean, really, these are kids she’s been in school with for 3 years and they are only 7. Seriously…I could have spit nails. Yes, she likes football and racing cars, and yes, she likes to wear sweatpants and comfy clothes…yes, she is witty and smart, yes, she is beyond cute with her long hair and crooked big kid teeth…since when is she any less a girl because she doesn’t wear a freaking dress and wear bows in her hair? Apparently the families of these girls don’t realize that all girls aren’t the same…some grow up to be famous race car drivers and astronauts…and even politicians…and they certainly have never heard of Pigtail Pals – Redefine Girly –so be careful who you call a “he/she” cause one day that “he/she” might be your…BOSS!
I am bringing this up only because of Shiloh’s recent hair cut. What are your honest thoughts? Should we try and change a child who is perfectly happy within their own skin just to please others? If you are a perfectly happy adult, would you want someone trying to change you? Let’s think about this one….
Chris Cuomo and actress S. Epatha Merkerson are shedding light on missing children {as seen here on The View}, especially those you may have never heard about. The media brings a lot of attention to certain stories does race play a part? Please share your thoughts with us.
A mouse in daycare! NOT the mouse we all love…
But a real life nasty little mouse in the mouth… I’m sorry did you read that the MOUTH of an 8-month-old child in daycare!!! Now you see I heard this story a few days ago but after much gagging I am finally ready to tell it. Britanny Barba’s precious little baby girl was at daycare and was found with a mouse in her mouth. 8-month-old Alanah’s grandmother volunteers at the daycare and was the one who found the baby with the rodent in her mouth!
Alanah’s mother is furious– rightfully so, and has pulled Alanah out of that daycare in Newark, New Jersey. The daycare’s owner issued this statement ”This was an isolated incident, a very unfortunate incident, and it really hurt me. I was up all night about this because it could have been my child,” Alanah was sent to the hospital and was not injured during the event however she did have some tummy issues.
This made me wonder, how do you know if your daycare is following protocol? Was the daycare not staffed correctly and why wasn’t the rodent problem already put in check? If your child is in daycare what do you do to make sure your daycare is on the up and up?
First off congratulations to Jay-Z and Beyonce on the birth of their daughter Blue Ivy. Jay-Z marked the birth by releasing a new song entitled “Glory“, which is a tribute to his daughter. Jay-Z has been known to use some harsh lyrics in the past, and making many upset with his lyrics especially feminist groups. Why, because he uses the word B*tch {99 Problems but a B– ain’t one}. However, with the birth of his daughter his tune has changed:
It’s time to organize! Whether or not you are already an organized person or strive to be one, we have some tips that may help to get you started. I, as a business owner, a busy mom of three, a wife, friend, etc., must confess that I may appear to be extremely organized but if you look at my office, you will see the real me! It is scary, but it is true….I stink at organization! I once had appeared on the Oprah show while I was pregnant with my son (who by the way is now 10) and had my linen closet and bathroom vanity professionally organized by, Julie Morgenstern. Now, you would think that a linen closet couldn’t possibly be that disorganized, but it was. I’ll admit it. Julie introduced to me how we can use different size containers and the label maker to store everyday household items, who knew? I secretly LOVE the label maker but clearly do not use it as much as I could! I was able to keep my linen closet organized, even after we moved into a different home! Its weird how one closet can be the only organized spot in my house. I always said if someone can initially get me organized, I can maintain it, and that part is true. I can’t organize, but if someone were to come into my home, set it all up for me and leave, I can keep it that way for years to come.
So, how does one start the organizational process? A level of organization is mandatory in regular life as it is in business life but why is it so hard to master? I am on a mission this year to organize my home, my business, my space, and my life with the help of the book, Organize Now! A week-by-week guide to simplify your space and your life by Jennifer Ford Berry. I welcome you to take part in my journey by taking a journey of your own. Share your stories of success, tips you learn along the way, taking before and after pictures and so on. I’d love to have your support and to support you in return.
I have learned two things so far, one, to be flexible and two, create a time map for yourself. By all means, I am no professional here, but those two things alone should go hand in hand. A time map (as taught by Julie Morgenstern) gives you the ability to plan your day, your week, your month all on one sheet of paper. It is a tool that can provide you with a sense of organization even if you don’t think you are organized. Once you organize your time, everything else just seems to fall into place. In order to create a time map, you have to be flexible with your time. Just because you have it scheduled doesn’t mean it can’t be changed or altered. For me, working from home has always had its obstacles but learning to treat your home business as a business first is the key to making it a success. Set regular business hours and stick to them. Being at home clearly gives you the ability to sneak in and just check that one order, or respond to that one email, but fight against the urge and you will see the how liberating it feels!
Here is a copy of what my time map looks like. (People are always asking me, “How do you do it?”, well this is how…shhh) Please note that you do not have to get as detailed as me by color coding, and spelling every detail out, but it was the best way for me to “visually” see what I needed to do, when. And, remember, that this is just a rough draft of what your typical day (or week) should look like. Have fun with it!
Your challenge for this weekend is to create a Time Map for yourself. After you do yours, let us hear from you. Was it easier or harder than you thought to put your day/week onto paper? What did you learn about the process? Do you have more or less time than you thought? Next week we will tackle another step in the organizational process! Stay tuned!
{Source}
A new study by the Environmental Working Group (EWG) has discovered many children’s cereal pack more sugar than….. a TWINKIE! With the growing number of childhood obesity the EWG decided to see if cereal makers were following government proposed guidelines. The EWG however found that only one in four children’s cereals meets the government panel’s voluntary proposed guidelines, which recommend no more than 26 percent added sugar by weight (EWG, 2011).
Are you afraid that what you are serving your children this morning may be on the list of worst sugary cereals?
Per EWG’s findings:
|
10 Worst Children’s Cereals Based on percent sugar by weight |
|
| 1.) Kellogg’s Honey Smacks | 55.6% |
| 2.) Post Golden Crisp | 51.9% |
| 3.) Kellogg’s Fruit Loops Marshmallow | 48.3% |
| 4.) Quaker Oats Cap’n Crunch’s OOPS! All Berries | 46.9% |
| 5.) Quaker Oats Cap’n Crunch Original | 44.4% |
| 6.) Quaker Oats Oh!s | 44.4% |
| 7.) Kellogg’s Smorz | 43.3% |
| 8.) Kellogg’s Apple Jacks | 42.9% |
| 9.) Quaker Oats Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries | 42.3% |
| 10.) Kellogg’s Fruit Loops Original | 41.4% |
Some cereals are better than others. Nutrition expert Marion Nestle recommends:
Please tell us what you think.
Do you think the sugar in these cereals have an effect on children’s behavior for the rest of the day? Should there be a change or should parents monitor children’s consumption?
It is Cyber Monday… will you be hiding behind your desk shopping today? If so here are a few deals we’d like to share.
Macy’s
Mama needs a new pair of shoes or two ….
Buy one, get one free on boots. Click here to see boots
Kohl’s is offering 20 percent off products site-wide using coupon code: CYBER20. All items ship FREE and for every $50 you spend you will receive $15 Kohl’s Cash Coupon.
Have a little girl who <3 Justice? Check out there 40% off everything using code 736 and their brother site Brothers is offering up to 75% off on select styles.
Kmart is offering Free shipping on all orders over $49 using the promo code: HOLIDAY with prices slashed on many items online. Kmart is offering Layaway no minimum payment and you can lock in Cyber Monday prices!
Got a deal to share please let us know.. happy deal saving!
You Tube of You and Me Interactive Triplet Doll
You be the judge did you hear the doll curse?
Many parents are furious with Toys R Us who are exclusive to the brand You and Me, which makes the Interactive Triplets that seem to say a curse word “Okay you crazy b***h”. Toys R Us says the doll is not using profanity– it is just baby babble. Toys R Us does not have plans to take the dolls off their shelves and they are currently on sale for $39.99.
The customer reviews are always fun to read so here are a couple for you:
From a parent in Ohio:
The dolls are not cursing….its all baby talk. I have heard things come out of my 2 year olds mouth that sounds like a curse, but know its not. Its funny when that happens….everyone laughs and laughs. But God forbid that we “think” we hear something from a doll, its fire and brimstone. I think you have a bigger problem if your child knows what that word means to begin with…that means they have heard it before…probably the same person writing these overreactive reviews. Shame on you.
Grandma from Michigan:
I bought these babies for my granddaughters birthday, but I won’t be giving them to her. The doll in the pink outfit seems to have a gutter mouth. Perhaps it was her upbringing, but I don’t want my granddaughter calling her Mom, Dad or anyone else for that matter a “Crazy B—h”. I don’t think she was talking about a female dog either! It is quite apparent that this is intentional and the makers of this product thought it would be cute to have a baby “swear”. Perhaps this is a sign of our times, but I don’t want to expose my granddaughter to profanity through her toys. I don’t recommend these dolls to anyone.
Caution this is angry mama from New Jersy:
PROS
CONS
BEST USES
One of these dolls said the phrase, “Crazy B”. I could not beleive my ears. In order get the doll to work, you need wave your hand across its eyes. This doll cursed, and my daughter, who loves dolls, does not want to play with ANY OF HER DOLLS, and I am p____ off! DO NOT BUY THIS! My Girl spent her $50 she’s been saving up and look at this c___. She gets $5 per week, so imagine how long it took her to be able to afford this. I’m on my way back to the store with this c____.
I’m only giving a 1 because they are making me.
Don’t you just love reading the reviews… weren’t we mad because the doll was cursing? Anyhow please share do you think this doll is using profanity? Will this doll still be on your Christmas list?
by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC
I had just turned off the evening news and was on my way to the kitchen to begin dinner when Lizzie ran up to me, grabbed my waist and with very serious eyes, looked up to me and asked me this question. “Mommy, what if Santa can’t afford Christmas this year?”
Lizzie had been in earshot of the evening news and no doubt heard enough of the financial woes and was concerned. I hesitated, not wanting to scare her, but also not wanting to lie to her. Her father and I had expressed concern about bills, the holidays, and taxes–all of which may have contributed to Lizzie’s question and concern. I wasn’t sure what a 7-year-old should be told; but since I had always prided myself in open discussion, I decided to take the time and talk with Lizzie in an effort to answer her question.
You don’t have to be a news buff to be aware that times are tough right now. Protests are happening in every country including our own, news of banks making money but still charging a checking fee for customers; and there is fighting between politicians with ranting and raving depending on where their support dollars are coming from. It’s crazy, and on a more basic level, every household is trying to re-budget and pay back debt. Many of those households are full of children with holiday wish lists longer than your credit card receipts.
Parents with children such as Lizzie will be more effective at teaching their children the true meaning of the holidays, the depth of family love, and mentoring responsible spending if they take these sorts of questions seriously. Lizzie asked a serious question in her 7-year-old mind.
Here are five important tips that can be used again and again as the holidays grow closer.
1. Santa has nothing to do with money. Santa is about feeling loved and cared for. The toy you love most, and that will make you feel most loved, is the one Santa will try his best to get. It is important that as a parent, you help guide your child with gift requests. If you know your child wants a $100 toy, and you can only afford $50, then suggest another toy that would make your child feel just as loved. Don’t do this in a critical manner, but in a loving, supportive manner. Something such as this, “I know you want that toy, but that is so much money for one toy. What other toy could you get that would make you feel just as loved?” If you do this with a loving tone of voice, you are teaching compassion, understanding, and problem solving.
2. Reassure your child that adults like the spirit of the holidays too, and they are not going to let a Christmas go by–no matter how poor they are–without celebrating. No matter who you are, you should make every effort to celebrate holidays with your child. No matter what holiday you celebrate, children learn from the ritual and the spiritual concepts that surround the holidays.
3. Make the focus of the holidays on friends and family. Look at “wish lists” but also promote thinking of others. Children are very egocentric at young ages; that means it’s more important for parents not to be. Children who turn into generous, compassionate, and loving adults were nurtured by loving, compassionate and generous parents. You don’t have to be wealthy to be generous, loving and compassionate. Perhaps try sorting out good but used toys or books that are no longer age appropriate and going with your child to donate them to a children’s hospital or shelter where these might be greatly appreciated.
4. Parents need to set a budget for gifts and stick to it. The best gifts of all are the ones that cost the least, but speak the loudest of love and caring. Last year, a friend of mine bought me three pairs of running socks (I am a runner. I use these every single day). Inside the toe of each sock, she rolled up a slip of paper that had a quote of something I had said to her that meant the most throughout the year. Six quotes…so meaningful. It was my FAVORITE gift. The idea of giving a gift is thinking of what the person would like, or letting them know how they touched your life.
5. Let Lizzie know frequently, and any other child, that the economic crisis may mean everyone has less, but it will never take away their family. Santa may not be giving out as many gifts, but that’s okay because you have the best gift of all with one another. Children (and parents) who are reassured that their family is strong and loving can endure this and anything else.
To be honest, Lizzie, you may not get the biggest, most expensive toy this year, but the holidays will have more love than last year because the bigger you get, the more loving you become, and the more grateful I am to be your parent.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at www.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.
Thank you to all our Winter 2011 Sponsors!
You can see them as well on the inside back cover of
the 2011 Winter Tots To Teens Magazine.
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