I posted this picture of my girls on facebook the other day and I tell people that I have two girls. A fur baby and a hairless baby.
And the reactions I get are mixed. I totally understand that not everyone is a dog person and that’s fine but I also get asked a lot how we prepared our fur baby Lucy for the arrival of Miss A. So let me share, See I suffered with depression as a teen and my dad got me a puppy at the advice of my doctor (who is now Miss A’s) and I’m so thankful for that. Lucy made me get up and out of my bed to go for walks or take her out to go potty. She made me smile when nothing else did. She is truly a great blessing. She is too smart for her own good. She is caring and loving and greets everyone with a wiggly butt and wet kiss.
Don’t get me wrong, we were nervous about adding Miss A to the mix, after all Lucy was the center of our lives. And I was scared, scared she would get put last. Our whole pregnancy we would touch my belly and tell her there was a baby coming. Witch I swear she knew what we ment. We also tried to cut back on the amount of snuggle time we normally showed her. She loved using my huge preggo belly for a pillow.
We also let her sniff EVERYTHING that went into the nursery. She was welcomed to go in there whenever she pleased. And we still allow that. Sometimes I find her checking on Miss A while she is napping.
The day we brought miss A home was so exciting and I was able to breath a sigh of relief. The day before my husband brought home a blanket from the hospital that miss A had been wrapped in for Lucy. My husband held the carseat while I gave Lucy some love (we had been away from each other for a week) and then we sat the carseat down and told Lucy to be easy. She sniffed the baby, wagged her tail looked at all of us and then licked miss A’s toe. An hour later Daddy, Miss A and Lucy all snuggled and watched tv.
I’ve enjoyed watching their love blossom and grow ever since. Lucy comes and gets us when the baby cries. Miss A now screams with excitement when she sees Lucy. They take naps together on the floor in my sewing studio. They play together. We even have their pictures taken together.
I hope this can help my preggo friends that are preparing their fur babies. I wish that someone would have told me that it would work out just fine. Now I only have to worry about the trouble they will get into once Miss A is moving. I already can see tutu’s and nail polish on both of them.
As soon as we found out we were pregnant I knew the type of mom I was gonna be. After all I had been a full time nanny for years. I was gonna breast-feed untill she was at least 2, was gonna cloth diaper, make homemade baby food, never ever formal feed and Miss A was not gonna spend a night with out me untill she was at least 9 months old. And I totally thought this was more then realistic. I mean its not like I was trying to tell myself I was never gonna spank, or that everyday would be wonderful. And that rainbows would shine and lollipops would fall from the sky. Please!! I knew better then that.
Well 4 months into being a mom I can honestly say I’m not the mom I thought i’d be. Yes we cloth diaper and are starting the plans for the homemade baby food. But she does stay the night with her Lollie and Pop when we could use a brake. And sadly breast-feeding Miss A has fallen waste side. I thought it would be easy, I mean why would it not? I own a kid’s clothing company, I work from home, I’d have the time to stop every 2 hours, whip out a boob and feed her. Shoot I could use the “brake”. HA. We did alright untill a month ago and then BAM! she didn’t wanna latch, she would scream, I would cry, daddy would try and help and I’d get mad. And ultimately end in us giving her the “bad word”…. That word that makes me cringe… FORMULA!!
Miss A turned 4 months yesterday and I’ve spent the last month feeling like a bad mom. Feeling as if I failed yet again. See, I didn’t get to give birth the way I wished and now I felt like giving up on breast-feeding. I cried to anyone that would listen and I took to heart all the advice good and bad I was given. And if it wasn’t for my one of dearest friends I would have gone insane. She assured me, I was not a bad mom and everyone comes to that point where they wanna cry at just the thought. And that’s okay. So I didn’t make it as long as I thought. But I made it longer then others and I gave it my all. There was only so much I could do about having low supply. And I realize I was causing more stress to miss A and myself by trying to push something that we were both done with. We now breast-feed once a day. And its our time together, its sweet bonding mother child time. And after all isn’t that what breast-feeding is all about?
I wish this whole stigma of what is the perfect mom is would go away. Parenthood is like the teenage years.. your trying to find yourself, your being pressured by what others think and you beat yourself up and question every choice you make. (Dang!! I should write for hallmark, that was pure gold there)
So I guess the advice I give my teenage brothers, I and any other parent could also take to heart. SO WHAT!!!! So what, you don’t do what is cool and trendy? So what you make a different choice then Dick or Jane? ..SO WHAT! That’s life and you would not be who you are, if you didn’t make the choices you did. So I can finally say Im over it! So what if Im pretty much done breast-feeding. At the end of the day I’m still a pretty wicked awesome mom and wife and we are all doing okay!
Im feeling that I need to introduce myself before I just jump on in to blogging for T2T magazine. So here it is….
While pregnant with my daughter I started searching the web for a first time mom blog that I would enjoy reading. But I quickly came to the realization that there was no blog for a Mom like me. My pregnancy came and went and I still could not find a blog that I enjoyed reading for more then a day. .
So gave up on finding one for myself. One evening I began telling my husband that I had given up. When he looked at me and said
“Sweetie, that’s why people like you have blogs” I asked what he meant and his reply said it all “Where in world are you going to find a blog for you? Honey, You are a young married Mom that is totally confident and stubborn in her “hippie” parenting style (thanks to being a nanny for 3 years) has suffered though infertility. You own your own business, you coupon, you breastfeed, you cloth diaper and are a Christian wife and southern girl while doing it all. Of course there is no blog that sparks your interest.”
I sat in the tub that night with my newborn on chest thinking about what he had said and realized he was a 100% correct. Being a nanny for 3 years had in a way taken the fun out being a first time mom. Everything was a “been here done that” experience in one way or another. My daughters 1st diaper was most likely my 10,000th diaper. Teaching my husband things that I “thought” everyone knew was a strange experience I felt like I had worn out the “OOO look, at her, she’s perfect and everything she does is so cute and amazing.” and the “ I have no clue what I’m doing so I’m going to bust into tears” stages on being a older sister and nanny. And this caused some postpartum baby blues. I wasn’t enjoying my newborn. I didn’t feel like a first time mom And it made me felt like I was a bad mom in return.
I remember our 2nd night in the hospital like it was yesterday. Our nurse came in at about midnight and asked if we wanted her to go to the nursery I smiled and replied “No ma’am, we would prefer her to stay with us. Id liked her to breastfeed all night, Thank you though.” and her response was so odd to me. But now that I look back at it I understand where she was coming from. She smiled and looked at us and said “You guys are the most laid back young parents I’ve ever had.” I was a tad offended by that comment. Thinking to myself “We are not some crazy drama filled highschoolers on 16 and pregnant. We knew what what we were doing. We are in our early 20‘s.… does she really think that we are that young? My God Morgan, don’t tell her you got married out of high school at 17. This poor old women may have a heart attack” And then she continued “And God bless you for wanting to breastfeed. I’ve never seen a young mom be so confident with her 1st.” And looking at my husband says “Dad, you look pretty confident yourself over there.” Wanting this women who now has my hormonal fragile, new mom state of mind feeling like crap, OUT of my room. I smiled and replied “Awe thank you, your right, not many WOMEN breastfeed anymore. And We are so blessed, we come from big families so this baby stuff is pretty old hat to us. But if we have any questions, Ill be sure to page you.” She smiled and left the room and I began to get even more upset. I felt like we were being judged for being “young” parents. I was worried the nurses out there were talking about my new family. Had they been judging my husband and myself all day?
So I have realized my husband, was right. There are no blogs for Moms like me. I feel like surly there are other Moms like myself in one way or another. Weather they cloth diaper or they own their own business. So I’m gonna do it. I’m goanna be a blogger Mom that blogs about her imperfectly perfect life.